Karl: coach
Jim: coachee
Purpose:
Karl: What topic would you like to talk about during this coaching session; what objective would you like to reach ?
Jim: Over the last weeks i've felt my commitment going up and down, independent of what i was precisely doing or with whom i was working, and it's not very clear to my why this is happening...
Karl: Ok, so if i understand correctly you want to gain insight in the WHY of your commitment's being 'unstable', is that it ?
Jim: Yes, that summarizes it correctly...
Existing situation:
Karl: So tell me, Jim, what do you feel or think when it's happening again; your commitment going up and down...
Jim: Hard to explain Karl, but sometimes i get into a certain 'mood' that is not really helping...
Karl: A 'mood' Jim ? Tell me more about it...
Jim: Well, at days for example when there is first a lot of traffic, then afterwards way too much email and unexpected calls and questions, i sometimes get the feeling that nothing ever proceeds, that nothing ever gets solved, no matter how hard i work... That's the mood i'm talking about...
Karl: I think i understand what you're saying... You mention traffic, mails and unexpected questions as causes for this mood...What eventually other circumstances may also cause this same mood Jim ?
Jim: well in general... when 'too much' - whatever the source - is overwhelming me, i feel my commitment having a tough time....
Karl: Could you describe this 'too much' more precisely ?
Jim: Well, in fact, it says probably more about me, dealing with all this 'too much', than about the 'too much' itself, i mean... sometimes i seem to find myself in a situation where i'm not willing anymore to deal with 'too much'
Karl: What would 'dealing with too much' look like ?
Jim: Dealing with it would mean me being able to distinguish the important and urgent from what's not and manage appropriately, no matter how much there is...
Resistances:
Karl: So Jim, what's withholding you from managing the 'too much', rather than allowing it to bring you in this 'mood'...
Jim: I think it's about energy, i feel less energy to again, and again and again, keep on managing it...
Karl: Jim, i get the feeling that there's a certain 'tiredness' inside of you, perhaps something more fundamental than just 'not be able to manage' ? Please share your thought on this...
Jim, i'm not sure, perhaps yes, perhaps no... i really don't know...
Karl: Then what do you know about what's holding you back form managing 'too much' ?
Jim: Well i know that sometimes i just feel the need to stand still a bit, to reflect a bit on these situations, to complain about it, i guess...
Karl: standing still, reflecting, complaining...
Jim: Yes, that's precisely what i sometimes seem to need in order to... continue afterwards
Karl: So, is this complaining mood withholding you, or precisely helping you to continue afterwards ?
Jim: Both i guess, but i would really like to be able to skip that 'complaining' part; i think it's that what's costing so much energy...
Fishing for resources
Karl: So Jim, tell me, what could you do, to 'skip' that part ?
Jim: I think i would have to find other ways to sometimes get rid of frustrations...
Karl: What could those other ways look like ?
Jim: I don't have any concrete ideas yet, but it has become clear to me that finding other ways to lighten frustrations is probably the key to solving my commitment issues
Options
Karl: so, how would you like to use that key ?
Jim: I think it would be good if we started talking more systematically on this, let's put it on the agenda every meeting from now on; i feel this conversation has already helped me a bit further...
Karl: and what more could you do ?
Jim: Try to build-in some kind of reflex: whenever i feel that 'mood' coming up, i should be able to say to myself: 'stop wasting energy in sticking into such a mood, talk positively about it with someone, if needed'
Roll out plan
Karl: Now, going back to your initial purpose Jim, and what you've learned during this session, and the options you consider, how will you put this into practice ?
Jim:....
Measurement
Karl: How will you know you've been successful ?
Jim:...